A Husband's Perspective on PSC

Thank you to Mike Owen for allowing us to publish his beautiful poem, dedicated to his wife who has PSC.

 

"My latest poem, hope you like it, dedicated to my beautiful wife."

By Mike Owen

I wake up in the morning and see you sleeping there
I hate to go and leave you with the cross you have to bear
You've been up all night in pain, alone and in the dark
I could not stay awake with you, which always breaks my heart
So I kiss you on the head and out the room I sneak
For I do not want to wake you, when you've just dropped off to sleep

From the minute I've left, I want to check that you're ok
But I will not ring you up until later on that day
For I know that you are struggling, trying to have a doze
Even too tired to change into your clothes
As soon as you stir, you're running to the loo
You have to get there quick, cos' you just have to!

Eventually, the pain subsides, but now it's nearly lunch
You feel so sick and drained, you can only nibble and not munch
We talk on the phone, I know you're not well
Tho you try to hide it, in your voice , I can tell
I'm sad and feel guilty, I've left you all alone
I'd do anything to be with you, back there in our home

But the afternoon is coming and time it will creep
And so you must go back, to bed for a sleep
Three hours later, you wake to me there
I am home with a hug to show you I care
I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do
I'll never be able to show, how much that I love you

Your sleep didn't work, you don't feel refreshed
Your energy's gone, you feel in a mess
I'll help make the tea, Hoover and dust
The gardens and ironing to save you I must
The evening draws on and your pain, it grows stronger
I wish our time together would go on for longer

It's now time to rest and time for our bed
The stairs are a mountain, your legs are like lead
Sometimes, you manage to sleep the night through
That's when I'm awake, to watch over you
For when you are sleeping, I don't know you're alright
So I check that you're breathing, all through the night

I'll love you and care for you, for a million years
I'll give you all of my blood, sweat and tears
If it would cure you, I'd give you all I have left
I'd donate all my organs, give you my last breath
I feel your every pain, and your suffering I see
Your invisible illness, only visible to me